Leo's Neverland
by The Next Author
Summary: "Yeah, Raphie, we'll always be together. I'll never leave you. Ever." "Pinky promise." "I promise." Pinky promise? Yeah right. You. Lied. I hate you. Hope you know that.
1. Pinky Promises

**Leo's Neverland**

" _I am going like a lamb to the slaughter;_

 _But I am calm as a summer's morning. I have_

 _A conscience void of offense towards God, and_

 _Towards all men. I SHALL DIE INNOCENT_

 _, AND IT SHALL YET BE SAID OF ME-_

 _HE WAS MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD."_

 _Doctrine and Covenants 135: 4_

 **Prologue: Pinky Promises**

 _We love you, Leo, I think, I love you. Good-bye brother. Rest well…_

Time: 8 years

Eight years earlier….

"Leo, sing us a lullaby!"

"Yeah, Leo, sing for us!"

"Yeah, Leo!"

My brothers jump on our woven, cotton bed in a hyper way. They ask for the lullaby that I sing every night. It's the one I made up a long time ago. Well, two years seems like a long time for a seven year old.

"Alright," I say, "lay down and I'll sing, okay."

Raphie is the first in bed. He always is. If I sing, he'll be sure to be up front and center for it. Mikey follows Raph's example. Donnie never likes being alone in things, so he crawls in bed, too.

"Okay, okay, here you go."

I take a breath and sing:

 _Wendy never flew back to that old star_

 _And Neverland never could be the same_

 _I dream and think of brotherly dreams_

 _But never seemed to reach that star_

 _If all of the hopes kept by smart John_

 _And all of Michael's wishes were true_

 _I'd take them all back to Neverland_

 _And trade them all for the Lost Boys_

 _Neverland is so far away_

 _Somehow Pan went away_

 _I think I could find him if I really tried_

 _Then we'll fly away together into the Neverland Sky_

I don't know why my brothers like this song. I think it's sad but maybe that's because I think of the meaning of things too deeply…

"Leo," I look over to my little brothers. Mikey and Donnie are asleep, but Raph is sitting up looking at me, "Why are you frowning?"

I smile," I'm not frowning, you silly. See."

Raphie narrows his eyes, then says," Leo, you should pull my tooth out."

My tummy rolls at the thought of taking Raph's lose teeth out. I shake my head, "No, Sensei can do it."

"Hah, scardey cat," Raph says.

"Then why don't you do it yourself." I snap.

Raph stops laughing, but doesn't answer me. As I crawl into bed, Raph turns onto his side and stares at me while stroking his pet turtle, Spike's chin," Leo…we're best friends, right? No matter what we do to each other."

I lay down and look Raph in the eyes," Right. No matter what."

"And we'll all be together forever, right? You'll never leave me, er, us."

I am forcing my smile now. Raph doesn't believe in reality. He believes in whatever his mind conjures up. This is just one of his beliefs. Maybe one day…he'll grow out of it."

"Yeah, Raph, we'll always be together. I'll never leave you. Ever."

Raph reaches his hand out, pinky outstretched. "Pinky promise, Leo."

I almost hate promises as much as I hate lies," I promise, Raphie."

Raph smiles and curls into me. His warm cheek rest in the crook of my neck. His legs twist with mine. "Good. Cause I won't let you leave me anyway."

This scares me. Raph and I are so protective, so that begs the question…which one of us is gonna die first."

I hear out bedroom door open so Raph and I quickly fake that we're asleep. We've gotten really good at that. The last thing I remember thinking is that if it was down to me and Raph, I hope that I would be the first to go…


	2. A Nightmare or a Vision

**Chapter 1: A Nightmare or a Vision**

Present time…

 **Time:** 15 hours

Splinter's P.O.V.

It is a deep dark that I am running through. It is a deep dark evil. As I run, pink cherry blossoms start blooming around me. Up ahead I see…me. And Shen and I'm holding our baby, Miwa.

"SHEN!" I shout. "SHEN! IT IS I! SHEN! SHE-!"

Lightning flashes above me and the scene changes to Leonardo and Raphael, walking on a roof, laughing and carrying their weapons. But as soon as the sky dims they are gone.

I stop running. I am alone in the dark once more. I hear fire crackling behind me, so I turn to see it.

The fire rages as my old house burns down. Inside I can see myself crying, holding my beloved Tang Shen. I feel my chest tighten as her head falls back and her beautiful hair touches the floor.

The lightning flashes again, thunder rolls. Raphael takes my place, holding a dead Leonardo in his arms, the same face I had at her death is now plastered to his face. The fire is gone now, replaced with dark clouds and a roof.

Lightning continues to flash as the scene switches from me and Shen to Raphael and Leonardo.

"No," I cry, now wishing to see Raphael holding my dead son anymore. But when I look down, I stare at the cherry blossom lying in my hand. Shen's cherry blossom. Another flash changes my hand into Raphael's green hand. In it he is holding Leonardo's bandana and it is sprayed with blood.

I feel tears matting my fur as I cry. Raphael's voice rings out. He is singing a part of that lullaby that Leonardo made up when he was five.

 **Neverland is so far away**

 **Somehow Pan went away**

 **I think I could find him if I really tried**

 **Then we'll fly away into the Neverland Sky**

Shen's voice and Leonardo's voice combine in unison to say, "I love you." Then I shriek as Raphael's voice yells out in agony, "LEO!" Everything turns blood red as my hand, Raphael's hand, comes up and stabs his Sai deep in his, my, heart.

I awaken, screaming. My sons do not hear me. I am grateful that they never do. Explaining my nightmares to them would be hard enough. Especially, this one.

This nightmare has plagued me for the past seven days which causes me to believe this is not just a nightmare, but a vision. I fear to tell my sons about this because if I am wrong, they will live in fear of the day that Leonardo will die. They will not be to their best potential. But there is always the question that if this is a vision, when will it happen and when should I tell my sons.

My ears perk up when I hear laughing outside my door. And not Michelangelo's laughter, but of two brothers sharking a joke.

This leads to another question. Is this a sign, Leonardo and Raphael getting along in the last days of Leonardo's life, a sign of my visions truth?

I pray not and that they have finally learned to work together instead of fighting. That is a vision and a miracle in itself.

I turn to look at my digital clock when I hear the smoke alarm go off. Who needs an alarm when you could clock time by when Michelangelo makes breakfast?

I guess I have no choice but to rise out of this bed and face the day at hand…


	3. What Would We Do Without You

**Chapter 2: What Would We Do Without You?**

Time: 15 hours

Leo's P.O.V.

My eyes flutter open and I feel…wet. Why the shell am I wet? And somethings leaning against me. What the shell? I turn my head a little and see a red bandana in my perhipial vision. I smile. Raph.

His head is resting on my shoulder, and he's still asleep. His light snores are followed by his drool that covers my neck and shoulder, rolling down my arm. Gross. I'm gonna have to sanitize my arm after this.

Raph's right. I live in a sewer and somehow I've become a germaphobe. I am such a dork.

I want to wake him but I don't. He looks so nice, like an angel, when he's asleep. Plus, I can catch a few more z's if he's just gonna sleep on me. So I lean my head back and slowly drift back to sleep.

As I slip into that sweet oblivion, I get interrupted by a screech and a boom coming from Donnie's lab. I jump awake right as Raph slams into sitting position, his slobber trailing him all the way.

"What happening?! Who's attacking?!" he yells. I snort. He would make a great guard dog.

"Donnie's machine is malfunctioning again." I say, yawning and stretching. My arm pops, then I stand. Raph stands, too, and walks with me as I head to the bathroom.

I feel him watching me as I look at the drool all over my arm. I flinch when I feel a cold wetness on the back of my neck from my bandana. He smiles, "Drool all over yourself there, dork?"

I grin back, "Only if my drool is coming from your mouth, doofus."

"So that's why my mouth tastes like crap."

Raph and I laugh as we pass Sensei's room. I wonder if he had that nightmare again. I'd ask but I don't want to interfere in his business.

When I reach the bathroom, the smoke alarm starts going off. I sniff the air out of habit.

"MIKEY!" Raph howls," WHAT DID YOU BURN NOW, YOU IDIOT!"

With that, Raph runs off to give Mikey a beat down. I just smile. Same old Raph. He never lets things beat him down for too long. It will due him good in the future. Plus, it helps that he got a new friend.

In the bathroom, as I'm scrubbing my arm as hard as I can, Donnie walks in, face black with powder. He looks devastated. I decide to break the ice," Whatcha building now, Don?"

"Nothing," Donnie hisses, "nothing. Nothing at all. I'm never building anything again. No inventor in _history_ has failed as many time as I have. I _suck_ at inventing!"

I watch Donnie kick the wall, than sit down, almost sobbing. "Donnie, you're a great inventor-"

"You're just saying that cause I'm your little brother-"

"I'm saying that because you are one. Look around you, Donatello. You made all these things that have improved our lives over the years. Without you, Don, we'd be living back in the eighteen hundreds." Donnie smiles but it doesn't last long, so I keep going. "What were you building anyway?"

"A snow globe."

I stop scrubbing my neck and look down at Donnie with concern, "A snow globe. A snow globe went boom this morning."

Donnie laughs, "No, of course not. That was the heater back firing."

"Oh," I say, then realize what he said, "Oh." I don't know whether I should be concerned about that or not.

Donnie sighs, "Leo…do you think April will like a snow globe that I make for her."

"Only if you make it _without_ things that will make her uncomfortable. Use a picture of her dad, for instance, instead of you."

"How did you know that I was going to use a picture-"

I give him a look and he just automatically stops talking. "Donnie, just be the Donatello I know who puts his all into everything, but not too much of himself okay."

Donnie just smiles up at me," Okay, Leo, but maybe just a small picture on the bottom," he muses.

"Donnie…"

"Okay, okay, no picture of me. I'll keep that in mind." Donnie stands and rubs my head before leaving. After he's gone, I just look into the mirror and stare at myself. I'm pale. Why am I pale? Why do my eyes look so dull? And why do I feel so…dead?

"LEO, BREAKFAST!" Mikey yells at the top of his lungs.

I smile, wishing my reflection would change, then head off to a breakfast, full of burnt food and arguing.

* * *

 **Time: 13 hours**

Mikey is playing a video game, while an ice pack sits on his head. Raph had gave him a goose bump and a headache. Video games usually help Mikey forget he has one.

But his game is starting to get on his nerves.

"AARGH!" Mikey screams, throwing his controller down, "I SUCK!"

"What are you doing, Mikey?" I ask. This feels so de cha vu.

"I suck, Leo! I can't get past this stupid level!"

Mikey give me a weird look as I laugh. "I'm sure it's not that hard, Mikey. Give me the controller."

Mikey slaps the controller into my palm, mumbling, "You don't even know how to play this."

I study the game's obstacles, than begin playing. I march past the level as fast as I can which adds up to ten minutes. I only have two lives left by the time I've passed it. Mikey stares at me as I hand him back the controller. "Leo, you're awesome, you know that."

I sit down by Mikey and rub his head, being gentle so I don't hurt him more. "You're awesome, too, Mikey."

"No, I'm not." Mikey slumps, "Raph doesn't think so."

"Mikey, Raph thinks you're great, too. Besides, you shouldn't care what he, or any of us, think. You should be concerned with what you think."

Mikey smiles up at me and hugs me. "Really, Leo? You think so?"

I hug Mikey back and look into his eyes," I know so, you little piggy."

Mikey squeals as I tickle him. He tries to get away but I hold him to me, tickling his neck, sides and feet.

"Hey, Leo. Hey, Mikey." I look up to see April going to Donnie's lab. She is wearing a new outfit and playing a new hair due. A bun is on top of her head and strands of hair are on the sides of her face. She waves at us and I smile.

As she open the lab door, I call out," Hey, April, you look pretty." I know Donnie will be to dumb stuck to say anything so I might as well say it.

April blushes, smiles and twirls her hair around her finger,"Er…thanks, Leo. I…um…thanks." Then April rushes into the lab.

I sit back again, feeling Mikey staring at me. "What?" I ask. Mikey just shakes his head. What?" I ask again.

"Nothing, Leo."

I open my mouth to object his statement when Casey Jones's voice rings out. "Leo, where's Raph?"

I turn to Casey, who is standing directly behind me. "I don't know," I say, "I think he went for a walk or something."

"Oh," he says. I look back at the TV, expecting Casey to go and bug Donnie. Instead, he says, "Hey, Leo, want to wrestle?"

Before I can even answer, I find my chin bouncing off the floor as Casey lands on top of me, putting me in a head lock. I quickly bite him and he yelps.

"Raph never bites," Casey growls.

"Do I look like Raph to you?" I snap, bucking him off me.

After a few minutes, Raph gets back, but he nor Casey let me off the hook. When I try to leave they both tackle me. So I have no choice but to wrestle with both of them.

And I must say, hearing Raph laugh and Casey cheering me on, it makes me happy. But somehow…I still feel dead inside.

* * *

 **Time: 10 hours**

I am sore to the bone. After wrestling for almost an hour, we all went and trained in the dojo. It was the best training session I've had in a long time. Imagine all seven of us training together. WHEW!

But Sensei seemed…off. He kept staring at me like he's memorizing me. He watches closely when Raph and I go against each other, but we don't harm the other.

The strangest thing is that he hugs me as I leave the dojo. He hasn't hugged me in years. It was strange, but he didn't say a word to me either. It's like he doesn't want to be too close to me…

Casey is sleeping on our couch, tired out from the day. April left and said he'd be back tonight. I am sitting, staring at Space Heroes but too tired to watch it. That's when my brothers come and sit by me. Donnie and Raph sit on either side of me while Mikey sprawls across all three of our laps. Raph curls into me the best he can, putting his head on my shoulder and an arm around me, making me warm. Donnie lays his head on mine while holding Mikey's legs so he doesn't fall off of us.

As Donnie yawns in my ear, he asks," Oh, Leo, what would we do without you?"

Before I can answer, Mikey says," That's easy, D. Nothing. Without Leo, we wouldn't have anybody to make us feel better."

I smile at the way Mikey says that. It's so childish yet cute.

As the two youngers fall asleep, I hear my lullaby humming between them. I slowly fades as they do.

"Leo," Raph whispers," You're too perfect, you know that?"

I just smile and whisper," I love you, too, Hamato Raphael."

I feel Raph's grin protrude into my neck. My heart swells at his happiness. Raph lays his head where he can hear my heart and I lay my head on his. But as much love as I am feeling right now, this one feeling still remains.

The feeling that the hour glass is emptying.


	4. Time's Up

**Chapter 3: Time's Up**

Time: 2 hours

Raph's P.O.V.

"Get up already! It's time for patrol! Get up you lazy reptiles!"

My nose bounces off the floor as Casey pushes me off the couch. Mikey is already down here and Donnie is coming next. Leo is shaking himself awake as Casey yells for us to get up. This is the first night we are allowing him to come with us on patrol and he is "metaled out."

"Casey," I hear April yell at my friend, "Give them a few minutes to wake up. Good grief."

"What time is it?" I hear Donnie say. I groan as I stand and stretch, punching Mikey in the arm as I go. Mike just grunts.

"Time for patrol," Leo says, standing, then walking to his weapons," obviously."

I roll my eyes. Leo. What a know-it-all.

The rest of us do the same as Leo and grab out weapons. April slips off to train with Master Splinter after she tells us good-bye. Casey is too excited to say good-bye back.

Sensei comes out and tells us good-bye, too, which is weird. He pats Leo's shoulder than goes back in the dojo.

"Is it just me or has Master Splinter been acting funny all day," I say to Leo.

Leo looks at me in surprise," You noticed that, too! I thought I was just going crazy."

I laugh," Nope, you're fine and dandy, bro. It's him that's lost it."

Leo just smiles. I can't help but wonder what he's thinking…

"GUYS!" Casey wines like a five year old, "let's go!"

Leo looks at me, smiling but looking grouchy. Only he could pull that off. "You're friend is as annoying as you, you know that?"

I smile, surprised that I'm not angry at Leo's little joke. "Well, you're annoying, you dork."

Donnie and Mikey just look at us as we smile and actually _talk_ to each other. I like shocking these two. I can't wait till Leo and I act like each other. That's gonna be the most fun I've had in years.

"Raph, you comin'," I jerk back to reality when Leo calls to me. The others are already gone but Leo is still waiting for me.

"Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming, bro."

Wow. And _Casey's_ impatient.

* * *

Splinters P.O.V.

Time: 45 minutes

"Well done, April. I will see you tomorrow." I turn away from April, ready to meditate, to let the lingering thoughts of my dream fade away. But April refuses to leave.

"Master Splinter," April says gently," No offense but you've been acting kin of…sad lately. Can' I know why?"

"NO!" The word spits out of my mouth at high speed. My heart is beating faster and faster, the images of my sons' dead body haunting me.

"Master Splinter, please. I want to help-"

April's fingers graze my arm and our breath catches. My dream plays in my head so quickly, it's reality. Now I know for sure.

Leonardo's death is indeed a vision.

Raphael's screams and cries are as clear as reality itself. Leonardo's voice is soft, weak and laced with death, and the images are as bright as day.

I collapse when it's all over. I choke back a sob, trying not to let the image overcome me.

My ears twitch when I hear a gasp behind me. I swivel around and spy April also crumbled on the ground.

"It's a vision," She croaks, "It's a vision."

A lump of worry begins to build in my stomach. Death is searching for my son. Thunder roars from the grate above the tree and I know that fate will end my son's life tonight.

Unless…I can stop it!

"Find Leonardo," I say, looking directly into April's eyes, "Warn him. Save my son!"

* * *

Time: 20 minutes

Leo's P.O.V.

Raph and I walk side by side as we wander from building to building. I can hear Mikey, Donnie and Casey arguing behind me. That's why we're laughing. Because Donnie and Casey sound so much like me and Raph.

"It's been a slow night," I say, looking up at the cloudy sky.

Raph nods," Yep. Man, I want a little action. And not the Donnie and Casey arguing action."

I chuckle. That's when I see them. Foot soldiers scattered on building after building ahead of us. And in the midst of them all is Shredder.

"Raph," I whisper," We just walked into a trap!"

Raph looks from me to the Foot who have finally noticed us. He extracts his Sai's. I look back at the youngers. Mikey notices me, slaps Donnie's shoulder and points. They follow Raph's example, ready for the enemy. And as I turn back around; the enemy advances.

I brace myself for the worst. That's the only thing I, we, can do. Raph and I head straight for the Shredder. I can feel Raph's anger powering me as I run. If he does something irrational, I _have_ to follow him.

When I look back, I see that the Foot have cut me and Raph off from Mikey, Donnie and Casey. We're on our own.

When I turn back, Shredder is advancing on us. I kick a Foot soldier away from me as Shredder lunges for me. I manage to avoid his claws but not his kick.

I fly across the roof skidding my shell along the ground, then hit the wall. I can't breathe. My stomach hurts. I try to get my breath back in my body while I watch Raph take on the Shredder.

I have to help him! I have…shell, it hurts!

Raph goes for Shredders heart, but the man grabs my brother's wrist and flips him onto his shell. Raph flinches as Shredder stabs his claws on either side of Raph's throat, pinning him with both his claws and foot.

I can breathe!

As soon as I realize that, I hop to my feet, grab my Katana's and sprint to my brother. Shredder raises his claws and descends them. I yell and stick my Katana between the claws and my brother's chest. I stare at how close they were to ending Raph, the glare at Shredder. I feel brave and ready to protect my family at any cost. Shredder looks like he's going to shred me.

He lunges at me aiming for any part of my body that's exposed. But I'm moving faster than I've ever gone. I block every hit with ease. I feel light, like I'm floating.

The edge of the roof comes into view and I feel proud of myself for being the offense instead of defense for once.

Shredder pushes me away from him. He whips the arrow in his gantlet is out and aims it for Raph. My bro stops at the sight, expecting it to fire.

Time seems to slow. I have to push Shredder off the building. That's the only way to save Raph and everyone else.

I get why I feel dead now. This is my last battle. And…I'm at peace with that.

I look at my brothers. Raph looks at me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, knowing he'll know what I'm saying.

I lunge at Shredder and grab his sharp shoulders, nearly impaling my hands. I use all the strength in me and throw Shredder right over the edge of this apartment.

Shredder makes sure to even things out before he falls. Lightning flashes and is followed by thunder as Shredder's claws rack across my chest and throat. I feel no pain. Not my spirit anyway. My body does, though. It causes my knees to collapse.

I'm falling, slowly. And all I can see is my family, smiling. Funny thing being, Raph is wearing my bandana.

Was that…a vision? Whatever it was…it makes me feel brave again.

Strong arms suddenly wrap around me, bringing me back onto the roof. I'm laid down onto Raph's lap. His eyes are glowing green with tears. He's no supposed to cry. Not Raph. Not ever.

"Leo…" he groans, voice shaky.

I'm fading. There's nothing else to say. I'm slipping away.

"You'll be okay," Raph says defiantly," Leo, talk to me. You can't die this way! Leo!"

I stare at him, memorizing him. I want to say I love you. I want those to be my last words. But all I get out is, "Brother…"

I touch my heart shaking from the pain, then raise my hand to touch Raph's heart. This is the only way I know I can tell Raph I love him. His eyes widen when he sees my chest. But I focus on my task.

Lightning flashes and the world turns white. Everything feel warm and happy. I see someone. She kind of looks like Tang Shen. She's beckoning me, calling me.

As I go to Shen, I hear Raph screaming behind me, screaming for me. But, now, there is no going back.

* * *

Time: zero….zero…zero…

Mikey's P.O.V.

The Foot soldiers are retreating. Donnie, Casey and I scream in triumph. We won! We won!

"Guys!"

We turn to see April jump onto the roof, panic in her eyes.

"April?" Casey and Donnie say at the same time.

April runs to us, saying, "Guys, where's Leo? He needs to get out of here. He's in dang-"

Thunder roars above us. Somehow, I hear Leo's name mixed in with it.

"You hear that?" I ask, turning so I can look for Leo and Raph.

What I do see scares me. Raph is holding Leo. Leo isn't moving. Not even a twitch.

"Leo…" I start to panic, and then run. "LEO!"

Raph is lifting his Sai. He looks at it, flips the blade so it's pointed toward him. Then he aims it at his heart.

"NO!" I reach him just as he stabs. I hit him with all my strength with the end of my nunchuck. Raph's Sai goes flying as he slumps to the ground, out cold, Leo still in his arms. He won't even remember I hit him.

Donnie is screaming behind me, "Mikey, what the shell are you- LEO!"

Leo's eyes are wide open but dark. He's bloody and…there's a crack in his plastron that looks just like Raphie's.

"Leo…" I whimper.

Donnie races past me. He presses two fingers to Leo's throat. He starts shaking and I feel so scared. Donnie closes Leo's eyes, whispering, and "…gone. He's…gone."

April screams as she collapses. Casey holds her up so she won't fall. She's screaming something about being too late.

My world is tilting back and forth, the world gone echoing through me. Leo can't be gone! He was just here! He told me I'm special! He said…he said…

"Leo," I moan, falling to my knees, "Leo."

Donnie is sobbing, clutching Leo's strap. Tears are starting from my eyes, causing me to grab Leo's foot and hug it.

It's starting to rain a cold rain. It's like the sky is crying for the loss of Leo, too. I like to think that it is.

Lightning strikes.

Thunder roars.

Leo is gone.

* * *

Time: -1 hour

Splinter's P.O.V.

I wait by the door for my family to enter. April comes first. She's crying hard. She refuses to look at me. As Donatello comes in holding Leonardo's lifeless body, I know that she failed.

"My son," I cry, running and taking him from Donatello. I lay him in my lap, staring at his ashen face. He's cold.

Michelangelo and Casey come in next, dragging a limp Raphael between them. He's groaning and there's a bruise by his temple.

"I'm so sorry, Sensei," Donatello sobs.

"No, my sons," I say, letting my tears flow, "It was meant to be." I graze Leonardo's new crack, thinking that he'll be proud of it.

"Leo…Leo…" I look up to see Raphael awakening. His eyes are red. He's taking it the hardest. I already know he is and will.

Raphael jerks upright as his memories flow back. He takes a look at me, then shoves his brother and Casey away from him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! LEO!"

He runs over to us, and kneels, cradling my sons head! "Leo…oh, Leo."

New tears stain his face. The room fills with sobs, mine being the softest.

Then I hear the soft song that Raphael is singing. I look at him, sorrowfully.

Oh, Raphael.

 **Neverland is so far away**

 **Somehow Pan went away**

 **I think I could find him if I really tried**

 **Then we'll fly away together into the Neverland sky**

I sigh as Raphael sobs the loudest, but whispering as he puts his forehead against Leonardo's, "I didn't even get to properly tell you I love you."


	5. A Hero for a Villain

**Chapter 4: A Hero for a Villain**

Time: -7 hours

Shredder's P.O.V.

"Hold still, Master Shredder! The tighter we get this cast the sooner you'll heal."

"You think I don't know that." I hiss at Tigerclaw.

The foolish turtle! All he did was break a few ribs and give me a concussion. No one defeats me, especially a mutant.

I grunt as Tigerclaw tightens my bandages one last time.

"There you go, Master. You'll be as good as new in no time." He says, handing me my armor.

I rip it out of his hands and march to my throne. As I pass Karai, she stops me, saying, "Did you really kill Leonardo?"

"Are you implying you have feelings for him?" I answer.

I wait for her to say no but she doesn't. Instead, she says, "Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. But it doesn't matter anymore. He's gone."

"Karai-"

"I'm going back to Japan tomorrow night. I already booked a ticket. This city has nothing for me now. And don't think I'll just forget him. Because I won't. He's my memory. Mine. Good-bye, Father."

I watch my daughter leave, retreating to her room. Children! Love is a death sentence. I thought I told her that. But I guess I was wrong.

As I look out my window, I see the storm clouds are continuing on forever, even as the sun is slowly rising.

I should be happy he is dead. I should be celebrating the death of Yoshi's eldest child. But…something is missing. I recall something my old Sensei taught Yoshi and me. There is no point in being bad if good is not there to counter it. There is always a perfect hero to a perfect villain.

And as I look into that night as a sun comes up on a stormy day, I realize…that turtle, that dead boy, was the good to my evil, not Hamato Yoshi. So without Leonardo…

What am I…?


	6. The Funeral

**Chapter 5: The Funeral**

Time: -2 days

Raph's P.O.V.

It's raining again. It makes me feel like the world is falling into a dark abyss like me.

I hate funerals. Shell, this shouldn't be happening. Leo shouldn't be six feet under right now. We shouldn't be standing here and I shouldn't be feeling like this is the end of the world. But he is in his grave and my world is over.

Splinter finishes burying Leo and joins us feet away. In muddy grass we stand side by side, but I touch no one. I can't. It'll make me long for Leo to comfort me.

As I look at all the black and grey around me, I shiver because I know I may never stop wearing it. I may never stop grieving for Leo.

The sound of crying makes me want to burry my head in Leo's chest. I turn to do so but…he's not here.

He's…not…here.

I'm dehydrating myself by crying this much. But if I don't I'll just yell till I lose my voice. There's no way to stop the hole that's widened in my chest. I feel like I want to cut my heart out and let my blood pour till it reaches Leo's casket.

Leo, is there room in there for two? Can I be like you yet? Can I follow you to heaven so I can be with you forever? Please let me. Please.

Shell, I should have saved you like you saved me. But I didn't and look where we are now.

Suddenly, I hear a good-bye come from Mikey, then Donnie and it keeps going till I'm the only one who hasn't said good-bye. Flowers are thrown. All kinds of 'em. I didn't get none. Maybe cause I thought that if I just pretend this isn't happening, it really wasn't.

But it is.

I hear Splinter say, "Good-bye, my son." And that's when I break.

I scream and fall to my knees, clawing viciously at the mud and dry dirt. "LEO! WAIT!"

"LET HIM GO!" I hear Casey yell, "RAPH, LET HIM GO!"

"NO! THIS WASN'T PROPER! THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE! THERE WAS NO MUSIC! LEO LOVED MUSIC! THIS IS ALL SO SICK! AND HE WAS TOO YOUNG! HE CAN'T BE…he shouldn't be…"

Dead. He shouldn't be dead.

Suddenly arms encircle me and lift me off the ground, "NO!" I scream, "LET ME GO! LEO! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!"

I love you.

Splinter carries me away, letting me punch him, kick him, scream at him, but he carries me farther and farther away from my brother. From my life. From my world.

I eventually stop struggling and let my grief flood me, till all that's left of me are tears and memories.

Time: -2 days

* * *

Karai's P.O.V. 

I watch as the Hamato family leaves the grounds, watching till I know that they really are gone. Then I walk out from my place behind a tree and walk to Leonardo's grave.

I still don't believe he's gone. But I take a look at the wooden Bokken placed as a marker and my heart beats the answer that he is. I smile as I remember when we first met. What a turtle.

But then I remember how he died, why he died and I'm angry at him all over again.

"Look, you…you mutant," I hiss at the grave, "This is all your fault that you're dead! I told you not to anger my father and you did! I told you not to give your life for anybody and you still did it! Did you listen to anything I said!? Did you even care!? Did you think of anyone when you tried to…to…to kill yourself."

I've yelled and scolded myself about wanting to cry. But now the urge is stronger than ever. I take a breath before looking at the grave again.

"Listen, Leo, I'm…um…I'm going back to Japan. So if you want to find me sometime, I'll be there. And…and I want you to visit alright," my voice is cracking. My heart is pounding so hard it hurts. "I don't' care how you visit. Haunt me, look at me through a mirror, and infiltrate my dreams. I don't care how you do it, just visit me, okay."

The rain has stopped. I can imagine Leonardo out here next to me, the rain making his skin glow as the drops roll down him. And his eyes smiling as he talks to me about some stupid thing I don't care about.

I gently kiss my three middle fingers then stoop down and press then to the base of the Bokken. "Sayonnara, watashi no ashimas."

I turn to leave when I see a white raven with blue eyes looking at me. I frown and yell," Go away you stupid bird!"

The raven just cocks its head and caws, almost like its laughing.

I pick up a rock, ready to throw it at the bird when it slowly pulls out a rose. I pause.

The rose is blue and black somehow. And there's something on its stem. The bird flies to my feet and drops the rose. It looks up at me with those blue eyes and ka's. I swear I almost hear Karai in it. Then it flies off into the sky towards the sun that's finally comes out after two days.

I pick up the rose, grazing its petals. How is this blue and black? I look at the thing on the stem and gasp. It's a ring. The band is black and the jewel is a topaz.

This is how Leonardo's chosen to haunt me. With a rose and a ring.

I run from this land, the rose and ring clutched to my chest. I promised myself that tears were for the weak. But now my tears gush out as I drive straight to the airport.

On the plane, I continue crying. Even past the point when everyone thinks I'm having a mental breakdown.

It gets even worse as I enter my room in Japan and on my pillow, crossed to make an x is two roses. One blue and one black.

I wanted Leo to haunt me.

Now, he is.


	7. Grief

**Chapter 6: Grief**

Time: -2 days

Donnie's P.O.V.

I don't stick around to watch Raph burn into nothing. I can't watch him fall apart. Not like this. Shell, I wish I was Leo. Then I could comfort everybody and they'd all be okay.

Shell, Leo I miss you! What am I going to do without you're support and advice? What are we going to do without you?

I need you, buddy.

I need you.

I turn to my science equipment as Jones comes in. He shakes his hair like a dog then takes off his coat.

"Whew!" He chuckles," That was wetter than I thought it would be!"

I grunt in response. Stupid human…I otta….

"Dude, I wonder how Raph's gonna get through this. He seem so…BLAH!"

Usually, I can handle Casey. Today, I want to rip his throat out. "And what about Leo's room? Are you gonna-"

"SHUT UP!"

Casey stops. I turn to him, anger pounding through me. "What is wrong with you!?"

Casey's eyes are duller than I thought they'd be. He looks tired. He answers slowly, as if his words could ward me off. "It's….It's how I deal with grief, Don-"

"GREIF!" I howl. "GRIEF! YOU DIDN'T KNOW HIM! YOU COULDN'T HAVE! YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO HAVE GRIEF! AND BY MAKING IT FUNNY! THIS ISN'T FUNNY, YOU IDIOT! I HATE YOU! GET OUT! GET OU-"

Casey lunges at me. I expect him to punch me. I expect him to knock me into my lab equipment and we'll get in a full on fight. I even cock back my fist, waiting for it.

Casey doesn't punch me.

Not even close.

Casey lunges at me, and hugs me. I pause and cough," Wha…?"

Casey breathes in my ear as he speaks. He stinks. Really bad. "I am no Leo. I don't know how to comfort. And I know this isn't funny. But…I'm sorry, Donnie. I truly am."

Leo would hug me. He would say sorry and say it's not funny. He wouldn't let me go till I stop crying, then take me to bed and sing his Neverland lullaby.

But Casey is no Leo. And that's why I start balling and getting snot all over Casey.

"I want my brother," I sob, "I want Leo."

Casey is quiet for a moment, then whispers," Can you hear him, Don?"

Hear him? I quiet my mind and…I can. I can hear him as if he's right next to my ear.

 _Donnie, you're a great inventor…Good night, Don…Love ya, bro….I've heard, Don, that when someone when they die, they visit people in forms of animals. If I could visit is an animal, I would be a raven for Karai and a coach roach for Raph. You know, as a joke._

 _"And what about me?"_

 _"For you, Don…a bee. What bee would want to go into your lab?"_

I smile and sniff. Oh, Leo….I hope you visit soon. I want to see that bee.

"Yeah, Casey," I sob, "I do."

He nods. That's when I hear he's crying to as he says, "Good. Good."

I nod, too. Then we just stand there for a long time.

Who know an idiot could make me feel so much better.

But not as happy as Leo would make me.

Never as happy.

Never…


	8. Let Him Go

**Chapter 7: Let Him Go**

Raph P.O.V.

Time: -3 Days

This cockroach is staring at me. Just staring at me. It's been looking at me for a while now but I have no urge to move. Let it crawl all over me and disease me. I don't care.

This cockroach looks funny. It's bigger and has these weird sunken eyes. The bug crawls onto my face, up to my beak and lays in the curve of my nose. I think it falls asleep. I still don't move and just close my eyes.

"You're still laying there."

I groan. Casey.

"What do you want?" I slur.

"You to get up. I've been gone all day and you haven't moved an inch."

I grab at the cockroach to place it on the floor, but it's gone. I stand and look at Casey. He still looks tried. I already know I look a whole lot worse.

"I don't have to move. I don't have to do anything."

Casey's frown deepens." You have to live."

I feel my face melt into the usual angry composure. "I don't have to live either."

Casey's eyes widen, "Do you think this is good!? Your family is hurting, Raph. They need you-"

"No. They don't need me. They need Leo."

"He isn't here, Raphael! You are! Haven't you seen them?! Donnie is working himself to death. Mikey hasn't eaten in twenty-four hours and Splinter looks like he's been through hell. They need you now more than ever!"

I slam my foot into the floor, fist clenched as all my anger focuses on Casey. "I'm not Leo! I can't do anything to stop them! I'm not the big brother!"

"You are now! So stop acting like you're dead just like Leo."

I turn away from Casey and back to the TV that shows a spin off for Space Heroes premiering in two days. Oh…Leo…he would love it….

"Get out," I hiss in a whisper.

"Raph," Casey whispers back, "Come on. You need to let it go. This grief is killing you inside out. You need to-"

I pick up the remote on the TV and throw it at Casey as hard as I can. He dodges it and it bounces off the floor and into the dark, plastic pieces flying everywhere.

I scream at the top of my lungs, "GET OUT! I HATE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! I HATE YOU! GET! OUT!"

Casey bolts out, my screams following him. Behind me, I hear the commander from the original Space Heroes say, " _This is a new era without Captain Ryan_."

This is a new era without…without _him_. Without Leonardo.

* * *

"I'm alright, Raphie."

His eyes burn into me. They look so loving that I want to touch them.

"Leo," I say," Why'd you leave me?"

His smile makes me squirm under his loving gaze." Leave you? I promised you I would never leave you. Never."

I frown as my eyes sting." You lied to me. You're making me hate you. You promised…"

Leo just keeps smiling," Of course, I promised. And I never break a promise."

I sob as Leo starts bleeding and slowly, falls into my arms, and dies.

"Leo!" I moan," Leo…Leo…LEO!"

"RAPH! RAPH! WAKE UP!"

I jerk awake. Above me is Donnie, shaking me. When he sees I'm awake, he says," Raph, are you-"

I shove him away from me, stuff my face in the pillow and scream.


	9. To Hear

**Chapter 8: To Hear**

Casey's P.O.V.

Time: - 5 days…

I lost two of my best friends and was able to gain one that was not on my list to get. Donnie is the most accepting of me now. Raph hates me. And the others…

April looks sick. She won't commune with the guys or me. She pretends like I'm not there. She doesn't answer Donnie's calls. She just…doesn't care.

"Casey," Don whispers," how's April?"

I shrug, sitting up from my slouch on Don's table. "Don't really know, Don. She won't talk to me."

"Why?"

I shrug again," Don't know." I'm the third wheel now. Not in a couple way. In a kinda dead living thing. Sounds stupid but that's how I see it.

"Casey," Don continues, frowning at this anti-mutagen stuff he's using," Why did you tell me to listen? For Leo, I mean."

I shrug. It's a personal thing. Some trick I learned when I was younger. I never told anyone about it. Not my sister or Dad. Maybe…I could tell Donnie. He'd understand, wouldn't he?

"My mom died when I was eight, Don," I start slowly," To cope with it, I talked. I ranted. It made my Dad mad, but I did. It made me feel better. Sometimes, when days were bad, I'd try to hear her. She'd whisper to me in my mind, and say she loves me and how proud she is. I still do it sometimes."

"…Thank you, Casey. For telling me that. If you hadn't, I'd probably be worse off…thinking he's completely gone and all."

"How's Raph?" I ask.

Don sits up and sighs, "Terrible. If he's not crying, he's sleeping. If he's not eating he's lying on the floor, just…dead. He's broken, Casey. I've never seen anything like it."

I shake my head," Me either." Then, after a moment, I say, "And you?"

Don shakes his head. His voice cracks and I can tell he's lying," I'm fine." He's not. Don is broken, too.

Leo…this was a bad time to go, man. If you can hear me…. Help my friends.


	10. Mister Turtle

**Chapter 9: Mister Turtle**

Time: -5 days

April's P.O.V.

I can't face them. Not now or ever. I couldn't fulfill Splinter's wish. Leo's dead because I failed to save him. I didn't save him…

I force myself not to break down in the middle of the street. I got called in to babysit for this rich couple with a six year old. I wanted to say no but I need the money. But now that I'm walking toward their apartment, I want to stop here and cry all over again.

I loved Leo. I don't truly understand what kind of love it was. It wasn't like I was in love with him. And it wasn't a brotherly love, either. I don't know what kind of love it is. Was. Whatever.

I walk up the stone stairs and into the luxury apartment. A boy my age and from another school walks by. He smiles and says, "You look pretty today."

I look up, "Thank yo-"The words fall out of my mouth immediately. He has blue hair dyed the color of Leo's bandana. He has pure white teeth and his eyes…his eyes look just like Leo's.

He nods and walks on. I cover my mouth and slam against the wall. Oh, gosh! Oh, gosh! Oh, gosh! His voice is in my head. The day he died…he said… he said…

 _"Hey, April, you look pretty."_

I haven't touched those clothes or did my hair like that since that day. I refuse to. I don't think I'll ever handle being called pretty again. It was Leo's word. Leo's…word…

I have to get up there. The families waiting. I force myself to move up the stairs and to the door. A few doors down, I hear _One Call Away_ playing and Leo singing it comes to mind. I hurriedly rap on the door and slip in as soon as it opens, the lyrics following me, trying to force me to cry.

I numbly follow the father with where the food goes and where the emergency number is. I just nod to show I understand.

Then he leads me to the strawberry blond girl, sitting in her room, at a tea table, coloring. She's frowning angrily as she scratches the table.

"What's wrong?" I ask gently.

The father rolls his eyes, "She says her imaginary friend is being mean. He hasn't come for tea in three days. That's when he was supposed to come. She says he's a liar."

"Oh…" I just stare at her some more. The parents take off for their date and I enter the child's room.

She looks up at me and grouchily says, "Who are you?"

I kneel at the little table and say, "April. Who are you?"

She goes back to her picture, "Chloe."

"What are you drawing?"

"My friend."

"Your imaginary one?"

She jerks up, her face pure red, "He's not imaginary! He's real! He sings and hugs and plays with me! He's real!"

I remember when I was little, I always said my imaginary friends were real but never with this much furiosity. She truly believes it. I decide to dig deeper.

"Well, what's his name? Can I see the picture?"

Chloe looks at me for a moment, then holds up the picture. I choke and feel extremely sick.

"He's Mr. Turtle," Chloe says, "And he's my best friend."

Leo is scribbled on the piece of paper, holding the other scribbles hand which must be Chloe. I can almost see her as a teenager in high school, drawing Leo's face with charcoal someday in the future.

Someday…like a vision…

Almost…

I grab the paper and stare. Chloe keeps going, "He promised to come over to have tea. He hasn't come. He's mean. He lied."

I force myself to speak, "You guys have tea…"

Chloe nods, "Yeah. We'll have tea and talk about his brothers. Sometimes, he'll dance with me or he'll tuck me in bed. He'll stay and sing me a lullaby."

"…Lullaby…"

Then she starts singing and the tears refuse to held back any longer:

 **Neverland is so far away**

 **Somehow Pan went away**

 **I think I could find him if I really tried**

 **Then we'll fly away together into the Neverland sky**

Soon after she's done, she whispers," Miss April, are you okay?"

I sniff and hand back the picture. I can't believe I have to tell her this.

"Um…Chloe…I know Le-…Mister Turtle."

Her eyes light up and my throat closes, "Really?!"

I nod, "Yes…he…um…he had…to leave…for a while. And he's…not…gonna be back…for a while."

Chloe's smile fades, "When will he be back?"

I look away," Not for a long time."

Slowly, Chloe starts crying, too. I don't know how long we were there balling, all I know is that Chloe, in the middle of it, held a doll and sobbed.

I recognized it. It was the Captain Ryan plushy Raph got Leo for one of their mutation days.

It's the one Raph thought Leo lost only a week ago…

* * *

Around eleven, the parents get home. I leave as soon as I get paid. I hope Chloe will be okay. I know I won't be.

Out on the street, I run into that boy again. He must live here if he's hanging around. I try to avoid him, but he catches me anyway.

"Hey," He calls. I turn around, "You again." He walks up to me, then sees my face that must look positively terrible. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head. This guy, he has the same energy as Leo. Warm. Kind. The type that says he won't hurt you. "I'm fine." Go away. Go away.

Instead, he says, "You're not." And even though he's a stranger, he hugs me and I let him. His hug is just like Leo's. You never want to leave it because it's soft and warm and you know no matter what you do to him, he'll always love you. Maybe that's why, when this stranger steps back, I want to bring him forward," Sorry, I tend to do that when people are sad."

I shrug, "It's alright. You're right. I've had a rough week. April. April O'Neil."

I hold out my hand. He takes it and shakes. "Lenard. Lenard Homdal."


	11. My Immortal

**Chapter 10: My Immortal**

Time: -1 week

Raph's P.O.V.

I wake with a start. Something woke me but I don't know what. I don't remember so it wouldn't be from that, so what? A person. A gentle hand rests on my leg, like it's trying to comfort me.

I frown," Donnie, get your hand off my leg or I'm gonna-"

"I miss that smile, Raphie." I pause. No. I'm awake. I feel pain. I just pinched myself! But…but how…

I look down the bed to the edge where an emerald skinned, blue eyed brother smiles at me. "I didn't mean to leave, you know. It was the only way to keep you safe."

I turn away, shoving my face in the pillow, "You're not real. I hate you. You promised not to leave me. You liar!"

"I wanted to stay. It's not my choice, Raphie." His voice is calm. It's soft, making me look at him again.

He still has a smile on. Slowly, he says," I'm alright, Raph. I'm okay. Where I am, it's gorgeous. And I'm learning so much about life. It's amazing. I'm happy. And you should be, too."

I shake my head and rub my nose," No. I need you. You…you need to stay with us. They need you. Please stay."

He shakes his head," I can't. I don't belong to this world anymore. You're the brother now, Raphie. I need you to take care of them for me. 'Til we meet again."

"No," I hiss," No, I can't. I won't. No. I need you here. I don't know how. No, Leo. No."

He just keeps talking," I love you, Raph. I didn't get to say that before. But now I do. I love you. You're my best friend. I hope you know that."

"No," I'm sobbing now, the fact of Leo being with me overwhelming me. "No…Leo…"

"Everything's going to be alright."

That's when my dam breaks. I start screaming at the top of my lunges, saying," NO! IT'LL NEVER BE ALRIGHT! YOU'RE DEAD! DEAD! IT'LL NEVER BE ALRIGHT! NEVER! NEVER!"

"Raphael!"

I stop screaming long enough to notice that Splinter is shaking me. I pant. It was a dream. A dream…wasn't it?

"Are you okay, my son?" Splinter asks.

I look away. No. I'm not alright. I remove his hands from my shoulders, crawl off my bed and walk away. I need a break.

I pass my brothers as I collect things that will calm me down. Sensei's robe. A bag of popcorn. And, weirdly enough, Mikey's slippers.

For the next twenty-four hours, no one comes to visit us and no one talks to me. I spend my time eating bad of chips and popcorn. I watch Space Heroes, letting myself truly watch it for the first time. It's dorky, just like I said. Leo was a dork. The greatest dork I ever knew.

Shell. Knew.

Eventually, this Space Heroes marathon ends, and I awake from a daze. That's when I finally figure out what I've been feeling since I started watching this dumb show.

I'm really MISSING Leonardo…

 **A/N: You want the true ending to this, read my story My Immortal. Leo's Neverland was a prequel so go and read the original if you wish. Otherwise, thank you for reading.**

 **Fin.**


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